Life's Theater

In Memory Of A Fellow Biker

2008-04-24T00:30:00.005+08:00

I know it's a cliche oft used and overused by the Singapore Traffic Police Force.

In fact, each and every rider knows this, regardless of whether they choose to hold any regard for it.

"Motorcycle riders are the most vulnerable amongst all road users."

I implore you, my dear reader, to observe a moment of silence, to pay respect to a new-found friend of mine who has just passed away.

An experienced, selfless and friendly member of the Malaysian bikers' touring community, Dicky joined us for the Songkran roadtrip and offered his friendship to the group, while rendering technical and medical assistance when required.

Sadly, less than a week after the trip ended, he met with an extremely unfortunate freak accident, despite him being a very safe rider who didn't take reckless and unnecessary risks. Colliding with a dog on a straight road, the impact to the head proved fatal.

May your soul rest in peace and may God bless your family.

Despondence

2008-04-08T00:11:00.003+08:00

So I'm back. At least for the moment. Someone needs to pop by to ensure that this derelict blog does not fall into disrepair. Ha. Who am I kidding?

It's been a tough week emotionally. Someone in the family just passed on into the arms of the Lord, my fiance has a lump at the throat which I hope will turn out benign, my furry companion is in the pet hospital due to kidney problems and my leaving of the company has been plagued with miscommunications.

Okay. I need to snap out of this mode of despondency. I've got a mind cleansing road trip tomorrow night. Hopefully, embracing some adventure will lift my spirits and snap me out of this emotional tailspin. Also, I've other things to look forward to in the coming months.

All right then. I've unloaded my burdens, I'm inspired again and I'm ready to take on and change the world! Onward!

The Greatest Band In The World

2006-11-02T01:52:00.000+08:00

Hella funny. Website at http://www.tenaciousdmovie.com/

Check out the other ridiculously hilarious (and stupid) videos on the site too.

The Uncertain Future

2006-10-31T09:59:00.000+08:00

I worry alot about my future. When I ask myself, what is my 3 year and 5 year plan, I wonder if I can attain what I have set out to accomplish.

The 'big four-zero' is only 13 years away. That isn't very far away.

Here is an article that was sent to me yesterday. It doesn't reflect how I feel exactly, but I suppose it is a feel of what is out there. Food for thought it may be, such articles do fuel my worrying.

October 02, 2006

When I read the Straits Times article (dated 24 Sep) on PM Lee calling the young to be committed and make a difference to Singapore, I have so much thought about the issue. I am 35 years old, graduated from University and gainfully employed in a multinational company. But I cannot help but feel insecure over the future of Singapore.

Let’s face it; it's not uncommon to hear, "when you are above 40, you are over the hill". The government has been stressing on re-training, skills upgrading and re-adapt. The fact is, no matter how well qualified or adaptable one is, once you hit the magical 40, employers will say, "you are simply too old".

We have been focusing our resources and problem solving on low unskilled labour. But in reality, our managerial positions and skilled labour force are actually fast losing its competitiveness. I travel around the region frequently for the past 10 years. It didn't take me long to realise how far our neighbours have come over the past decade. They have quality skilled workers, and are less expensive. When I work with them, their analytical skills are equally good, if not better than us.

It's not new anymore. Taxi drivers are fast becoming "too early to retire, too old to work" segment of the society. I like to talk to taxi drivers whenever I am heading for the airport. There was this driver. Eloquent and well read. He was an export manager for 12 years with an MNC. Retrenched at 40 years old, he had been searching for a job since his retrenchment. Although he was willing to lower his pay expectations, employers were not willing to lower their prejudice. He was deemed too old. I wouldn't be surprised if we have another No. 1; having the most highly educated taxi drivers in the world.

On PM Lee calling the young to be committed and make a difference. Look around us. How dedicated can we be to Singapore when we can visualise what's in store for us after we turned 40? Then again, how committed are employers to us? But we can't blame them. They have bottom lines & shareholders' gain to answer to. Onus is really on the government to revamp the society. A society that is not a pressure cooker. A society that does not mirror so perfectly, what survival of the fittest is. But a society, where it's people can be committed, do their best and not having to fear whether they will still wake up employed tomorrow. Sadly, Singapore does not offer such luxuries and security anymore.

On the issue of babies. The government encourage us to pro-create. The next generation is essential in sustaining our competitive edge. Then again, the current market condition is such that our future has become uncertain. There is no more joy in having babies anymore; they have become more of a liability. It's really a chicken and egg issue.

Many of my peers, bright and well educated have packed up and left. It's what MM Goh called "quitters". It's sad but true, Singapore no longer is a place where one can hope to work hard their lives and retire graciously. It's really the push factor. A future is something we sweat it out, build and call our own. Unfortunately, people like me, mid 30's going on 40's, staying put by choice or otherwise, we can't help but feel what lies ahead is really a gamble.

To PM Lee and the Ministers, we are on a different platform. Until you truly understand our insecurity, the future of Singapore to me remains a question mark.

This article was rejected by the Straits Time Forum.

Day of Days

2006-09-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my greatest pleasure, to announce, on behalf of Eileen, that 15th September 2006, Friday, was "Purple Day!". This momentous but unknown event also coincided with, according to the rocking D'Funked, the equally unpublicized "World Security Guard Day".

By the way, do pop by Timbre on Monday 25th September to catch D'Funked performing for the bizarre "World Cross Dressing Day". According to the band, they might be going drag. That's going to be quite the sight, though pretty or not, is up to you to decide.

~

To update on the Walas Gig, The Band, now named Jacob's Tree, will debut at Walas on Tuesday 19th September.

Note that we will not be playing on the 26th September as David is going to Thailand. We will resume our Tuesday slot on 3rd October.

Hope to see you guys there!

Wala Walas Every Tuesday

2006-09-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

Dreams can come true
When you wish upon a star
You can when you believe
His song is in my soul

~

Yes, The Band (Jacob, David and myself - a 3 piece acoustic outfit where everyone sings and plays) made it through the auditions last Thursday. Starting from 19th September, we will be playing at Wala Walas (Holland V) every Tuesday night, from 9.30 pm - 12.30 am.

Do pop by to support us!

~

Now - to start finding a proper band name. Do tag your suggestions if you have any!

And come by on the 26th September Tuesday. I am shamelessly proclaiming that it is my birthday and that it would be nice to have some friends down on that night, since I will be playing at Walas.

Resolutions, Hopes, Dreams & Expectations

2006-08-30T01:59:00.000+08:00

A poem take from my sister's blog -

"The Man In The Mirror" by Dale Wimbrow

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
and the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
and see what that man has to say

For it isn't your father or mother or wife
whose judgement upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
is the one staring back from the glass

Some people may think your a straight shootin' chum
and call you a wonderful guy
But the man in the glass says you are only a bum
if you can't look him straight in the eye

You can fool the whole world down the pathways of life
and get pats on your back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
if you have cheated the man in the glass

He's the fellow to please, never mind the rest
for he's with you clear to the end
And you have passed your most dangerous, difficult test
if the man in the glass is your friend

~

A humbled heart, my head bowed in silent prayer.

I do hope that man in the glass is my friend. I have done everything I could so far, to live up to my expectations and in terms of my university career, this is my final lap, of which I am giving my best.

What doesn't break me, will only make me stronger.

The past one week has been nothing short of hectic, with 7 days a week in school, 13 to 14 hrs on weekdays. Thankfully everything is coming on track, with me cruising along decently for now.

Come week 4, once the upcoming Arts Festival 2006's musical, Short and Sour (which I am part of the cast) is over, I'll need to push myself into academic overdrive. For now, due to this one-off committment, consistency and sheer hard work should suffice to keep my aims, goals and expectations for this semester alive.

Only you know how hard I push myself to excel.

Yes, I am ambitious. I know what I want and I shall go all out to succeed. This is what I have promised myself since the beginning.

The mix of pure, unadulterated passion and ambition drives me onward.

On the musical front, the band has an audition at either Walas or Balaclava this Thursday late afternoon. After the past 4 months of consistent rehearsals and occasional performances, with much appreciated advise, tips and help from industry veterans, I do hope we are ready to begin what we had set out to accomplish since our inception.

Dreams can come true, my fingers are crossed.

This is our litmus test. This is the cumulation of our efforts over the past 4 months to get our act and reportoire together and hopefully, the start of a new journey. This will determine if we can, at this point in time, make that step onward towards realizing our ambitions.

~

Title In The Words

2006-07-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

72-13, 210706.

A cacophony of noise
The makings of music
Feathered beats
Percussive strums
Electric stings of digital moans
Acoustic blasts of hurried melodies
Music to a select few
Noise to the majority
Bottled inspirations at hand
Tigers leaping freely throughout
Raw in nature
Experimental intents
A hypothesis true
A soundscape of sorts
Post-rock riots
A genre in itself
Incomprehensible
Left unappreciated

~

Disclaimer:

This entry was not intended or written to be a poem. It does not even pretend to be prose and would be mortified to be labelled or even suggested as such. It is merely a deconstructed commentary on a performance which I have had the opportunity to witness.

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

2006-07-20T02:16:00.000+08:00

Not obliged to judge, just curious as to form a closure.

I was surprised at the matter-of-factly admission by a close friend, on him being the assailant of another acquaintance. While the "victim" who clarified his actions to cement his innocence, the close friend simply stated how he felt and that the "victim" had it coming, through a common impression formed and from pent-up frustration and anger.

Life is complicated enough. If everyone could just be that little bit more tolerant, understanding and abit more in control of their stronger emotions, perhaps this ugly episode could have been mitigated. But then, who am I to comment? I'm just being idealistic I suppose.

I understand the feeling of alienation and of the potential abuse one had coming to him. But I have also been granted a glimpse from a third party’s point of view on how the other person chose to deal with this seething hostility displayed by his compatriots.

Like the eye opener given to me today morning, which has made me reflect upon certain aspects of my character, on my good intentions that sometimes comes with a lack of effort to achieve them, resulting in a temporal social disruption and a compromise to the integrity of the bridge of the perception of my being.

Like the reminder today, which made me realize that one thing that perhaps stands in my way towards accomplishing all that which I have always wanted to be and all that which I can become and to become a better person and character – That I am my own worst enemy.

Perhaps this holds true to everyone, that if one starts judging him/herself on a level more critical and brutal than that of society, to be present and keenly aware of his/her actions, thoughts, words and intentions, one would realize that often, the greatest hurdle to establishing our ideal and optimum self would indeed be, ironically, ourselves.

Curtain Call

2006-07-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

Lights out, stage dismantled, props returned. The reviews, congratulations, acclaims and criticisms have all been said and done.

Finally, life, or some semblance of normality, has returned to the cast and crew of the production "The Sword Has Two Edges". (In fact, after being suspended for two whole weeks, it rushed at me with the fury of water breaking a dam, rather than allowing me to catch up with it, it overtook me. Its time to play catch up to all the various aspects of life, I suppose.)

Even though we shall share no more late nights huddled in a classroom at a corner of the SESS (or my practising of lines in the toilet at twilight hours), these memories will remain etched in our minds for a long time to come, the experience ingrained into our being, with some of us carrying portions of our characters to serve as memoirs of this surreal and unique wayang-ish theater production.

Thank you all, for this brief but meaningful experience, that I shall cherish for the rest of my life, for the lessons learnt, the camaraderie experienced, the experiences shared, the many suppers and jokes and most of all, the friendships that were forged and strengthened within and between the cast and crew.

Thank you everyone, for working so hard, for those who came to watch the play and for those that had the faith in each and everyone of us and for making this reality.

Table Number One

2006-06-12T02:09:00.000+08:00

Today I was a wedding crasher. Well, sort of.

Asked by Faye to play a song while she sings at her sister's wedding at Goodwood Park Hotel Ballroom, the plan was to wait for 10 - 20 minutes in the reception area, take the stage, finish the song and leave. Instead, as per all Chinese weddings, the wedding was delayed and started very late.

Hanging around the ballroom reception waiting for Faye to signal the time for the performance, she instead got us (Jacob and I) to grab a bite at one of the tables as the performance was two courses and several speeches away.

Well, turned out that the table was table number 1, which I never once had the privilege to sit on, with the parents and immediate family of the bride and groom.

As one would expect, as a stranger to Faye's immediate (current and new) family, the situation was extremely awkward on Jacob and my part. After mandatory introductions, it was mostly silence on our part, with the two families exchanging friendly banter.

Needless to say, the minute Faye excused herself to prepare herself for her speech, Jacob and I promptly left the table and only returned to perform the song. Following the one song performance, we left this intimate and private affair which we had technically crashed.

~

Congratulations to the newly weds, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson!

Oh What A Night!

2006-06-01T16:06:00.000+08:00

The simple pleasures in life.

Open mic Wednesday night. Performing almost a full set at the Library@Esplanade's cafe. All tables taken, small crowd, all strangers, intimate setting, great vibe. Appreciative audience, fun set, no fixed setlist, feeling the crowd for the songs to play, applause, one encore.

Jamming after the set at Esplanade's Outdoor Theater. Practising John Mayer. Learning how to jam the blues. Attracted the morrow night's artistes. Music, jamming, improvisations. Guitars, harmonica, vocals and scatting. A small audience gathered in the theater. Friendship, fun, passion and exchanges in the universal language of music.

A chance meeting with an established musician, an exchange of ideas, sparks of creativity.

A heady night intoxicated with the pleasures of music, with many surprises highlighting the evening. Oh what a night!

The Sword Has Two Edges

2006-06-01T15:40:00.000+08:00

Tickets for the upcoming theater production in which I am acting in is now on sale!

Please do visit the Stageit website for more details on the production and of how to purchase your tickets!

Here is another picture to whet your appetite. I'm playing the tyrant in the show. Yes, I am the bad guy (well, sort of) once again.

It is a serious drama piece and the cast have been working very hard to put up a good show, so please do support us by coming down for the production!

And Your Agenda Is?

2006-05-22T11:22:00.000+08:00

I might be looking too much into things, but based on the timing of this article, I question its agenda. Based on its timing, I'm inclined to suggest that it could be a well-timed release of bad publicity for the institution, since this is the period when GCE A-Level and diploma holders are starting to receive their acceptance letters, with many having to make a decision as to the university of their choice.

I sincerely doubt that the article took nearly 5 weeks post-exams to be written, edited and submitted to the newspaper's editor.

Say what she may, but as an exchange student, she has barely skimmed the surface of the SMU experience, which for me has been holistic and fulfilling, spanning a focus on academic excellence and involvement in multiple student activities.

The lessons are food for the brain (and I personally do not think that they are lacking. Perhaps it is hard to compete in a roomful of people of different disciplines as it broadens your thinking significantly and allows you to see a bigger picture of things, which is what business management should be about anyway. What use is knowledge in a business school if we cannot relate it to other aspects of a business?), but the experience gained in SMU, as a student leader, CCA head/member, events organizer, performer, in juggling multiple portfolios with one's studies is what builds one's character and strength, to prepare you for the working world.

A Brief Taste of Reality Television

2006-05-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

Considering that SG Idol 2 is going to premiere next Sunday, I thought this post would perhaps be of interest to the (intentional or unintentional) readers of this blog.

The entire experience exposed me to the true human cost of entertainment.

Reality TV is really the 'reality' that the producers choose to air, defined by their rules and editing to transform it into entertainment for the couch potatoes. SG Idol itself is beyond a simple singing competition. To put it into an extreme sense, the early rounds of auditions (and yes, the most entertaining round of the entire Idol show), is human emotional capital manipulation at its best.

Watching how the camera crew swooped down onto those contestants that broke down after the auditions before the 4 judges, with the producers telling the crew to tail the emotionally wrecked contestants (though why they break down is beyond me), to catch every sob made and every tear that followed, I was honestly quite appalled. Yes, it made for dramatic TV, but emotionally, it did nothing to enhance the esteem of the contestant at that point in time. The camera seemed to tail those contestants forever, following them from their emergence from the audition room all the way to the building's exit. On the flip side, those who responded to rejection with a not so dramatic response were spared the monitoring and intrusion by the camera crew and producers.

The full extend of the show leeching onto the emotions of the contestants did not end there. After one's success/rejection, one was to go to a "confessional" chamber, where the producers asked the contestants of how they felt. The winners were obviously released easily, with nothing much to milk out of them. The rejectees, however, had it differently. There, the producers goaded them (me included) to reveal how they felt about the decision and comments of the judges. In my case, the judges comments were taken out of context to become more personal, asking me to state how I felt and of anything that I have to say to them, which was phrased in such a manner as to suggest that I could say anything rude or to disagree with them. If you guys see me on television, if they happened to broadcast my post audition confessional, no, I did not say anything that would have made for spectacular television. Loaded questions, one after the other, was heaped upon me until the producers deemed that I was not going to give them the type of answers that they were looking for.

So, it you do catch the auditions and make exclamations at those contestants who made unreasonable or rude comments, do bear in mind that they may have been goaded and taunted into making such comments and that the brunt of the show's entertainment is a result of very clever and dramatic editing, transforming certain everyday and/or emotionally loaded comments into bold and dramatic declarations of joy, sadness, frustration or anger.

Having gone through this experience, I'll be watching it with a pinch of salt.

~

If you guys are wondering what happened during my audition, my voice was wonky on that day and I was too nervous. I hammered the song out, rather than singing it, disregarding its feel and rendering it far too heavy in its execution.

Functional, Rather Than Seemingly Platonic

2006-05-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

A recent comment from one of my partner's closest associates that was brought to my knowledge rather casually did provoke some meditation on my part. Not the contemplation of the critical sort, but rather, of a reflective nature. A mental investigation, that led to me query myself on the nature of my relationship.

After nearly half a decade, it is in a stable state of form, with little flux. However, are we stuck in an altitude that is a notch above that of the closest friends, considering that we are more than simply platonic, but still below the rosy tinted clouds of a full blown romance?

Probing deeper, I confirm that my affections are beyond that of an ordinary concern. Obviously this predictable and stable form has taken root in our lives as a comfort zone of sorts.

Perhaps naming it a functional relationship would be more appropriate.

Perhaps I am thinking too much, given the time on my hands coupled with the musing of a hyperactive mind. Maybe it is due to the not-so-conventional manner in which I display my affections and show my concern.

Observations From The Sidelines

2006-05-08T17:59:00.000+08:00

Inspired from the nick of a friend who would prefer to remain anonymous, in response to the headlines in our local newspapers over the past two days -

"66% in SMU is a C+"

Apart from it being incredibly witty, it is true that it is an indication of a strong mandate, considering that seldom, anywhere else in the world, does an election end up with a party obtaining such a high degree of the votes. However, I would like to add that such an overwhelming result/support has to be taken in light of the many election "tactics" utilized by the dominant party (which the country also saw an ample display of even during the results broadcast).

If we extrapolating the 66%, as per how they have taken it to mean the majority of the population, perhaps it is time for an introspection on the part of the emerged champions, a view into the flipside, to ask why the approximately 1.5 million people, or remaining 34% of the population, did not give their mandate to the ruling party. 1 in 3 people, when stripped down to basic integers, is a frightfully scary number.

Perhaps this question will be raised in hushed tones, in half a decade's time, when the significance of these numbers and of their potential impact will remind some of the anxiety they felt, which has since been drowned by a wave of relief during their victory.

Beyond and Within Our Control

2006-05-08T00:30:00.000+08:00

Luck - how often do we attribute random, unplanned or unpredictable results on the lady? Certainly one can be confident of one-self's capabilities and anticipate a particular result, based on logical and intellectual anticipation of past performance or familiarity with a specific subject matter. Yet, sometimes, the means of numerical attribution is simply beyond our reach.

Interesting, that at times like this, when the locus of control fades far beyond the internal, rendering us unable to, beyond our widest influence, affect our given "fate". Providence, like a coin flipping through the air, has divided opportunities for benevolence or to deal a harsh hand. Despite one's cries of injustice, not matter how gentlemanly, to exclaim that the system is flawed, the end result of an avenue of complain often ends in vain.

Lucky then, for the lot that I have received and of the amendments made unto it. Beyond an impression to project or overriding a simple reluctance to action, I do believe that lady luck played her hand on this one and granted me a small but personally significant boon that allowed me to achieve the end which I sought.

~

Harsh - In any aspect of life, how do you judge others? Is one's internal sense of judgment upon others so critical that upon revelation, it is deemed harsh? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Personally, I believe that everyone has that little bit of callousness in them; that smugness or pride that allows them to believe that they are superior in some function or another. It is normal. It is a part of society and what differentiates us from one another, in our relativity of mentality, thought processes, personality, characteristics and actions.

Appealed not to judge too harshly, it dawned that perhaps even such a thought was in its very essence, considered harsh. Perhaps the effort to do it was in itself, an effort to task. Relativity, is the operating word here. Like love, one cannot count effort, motivation and drive and can only account for it in relative terms.

Duty or not, the effort is in itself and effort and should not be judged upon harshly. Mediate upon the acceptance of differences and of the deviation from one's own standards to learn of tolerance, to comprehend those around you better. Perhaps the effort in doing it, is effort enough for them and should be praised and lauded.

A Midsummer's Melody After Many Wintry Nights

2006-05-05T02:15:00.000+08:00

After a day of foreboding that permeated from within, perhaps due to some un-sensed paranoia, things did turn out well after all. Opportunities have started to make their entry into my life and the crises that plagued the early days at the turn of the semester seems to have played themselves down or have been adverted.

Even the dreaded preview turned out much better than expected. Many pats should be slapped onto the backs of the cast and director, who worked really hard. We even managed to survive and impress a few during our "second full run". Commitment, focus and drive that translated to a minor, working miracle.

Perhaps of late, I have been worrying too much. Latent anxiety mixed with an undercurrent of melancholy concocts an intoxicating cocktail of pessimism. Much like alcohol, this malady only serves to create a distorted view of the future, adding a touch of gravitas to my entire being.

Things are starting to look up, with the good news coming in. A well deserved breather, an opportunity to do something meaningful and yet, find time to pursue my passions with unadulterated abandon. I suppose I am more on track to my goals than I really perceived myself to be.

Perhaps I am finally over my state of suppressed depression.

I suppose this is a time for introspection; to reflect upon lessons learnt, to ask meaningful questions, taking a good hard look at reality for what it really is, to gauge its prospects and opportunities.

But - plotting for the future can be suspended for the brief time that is the present. Now is the moment for a well deserved break after nearly three crazy years where I incrementally loaded myself and paced myself at breakneck speeds, benchmarking myself only against the paragons of our society.

Now is the moment for indulgence, a rare luxury that I stake entitlement to.

Frustration of a Reward Defied

2006-04-28T17:36:00.000+08:00

A fork in the road. One option was the path of insouciance; the other was to officially file a suit petitioning my case, justifying my cause.

Too many times have this happened. Far too many times. Thinking back, I regret not embarking on this course of action in my earlier years. I was afraid. I was passive. I avoided the conflict for fear of repercussion. I took two steps forward, only to take two more in the opposite direction upon rejection and resistance. No more. Not this time. This time, I shall fight. This time, the sword shall leave its scabbard.

I carried a substantial bulk of the load, albeit willingly. I sparred and fought in the trials of verbal discourse. I trailed closely behind the heels of my peers, pushing on despite being out of my element in the faith that the final reward laid near.

Yet, the sweet reward has turned into bitter disappointment. No matter. I shall continue. It seems that the journey has yet to reach its end. I shall fight on. I shall foster on. I shall petition. I shall be heard. I will not be denied.

Solitude

2006-04-25T14:04:00.000+08:00

At the brink of shelter she laid. Fate's cruel sense of humor, the irony of death inches from security. Your assailant unknown, fled from the scene; a culprit pursued only by the pangs of his conscience.

Yet, those truly punished are your kin and loved ones, who mourn your loss as memories that will forever be cherished. Your friend, now a lonely shade in the shadows of the moonlight, wonders around wooden legs and curls on cold ceramic tiles, sleeping alone without the warmth of his beloved companion.

I pity him. Yet, there is nary a thing I can do but to observe and watch, in the stuttering slits of light that attempt to fill the darkness and emptiness of the night.

Mourning Tears of a Weeping Heart

2006-04-24T03:18:00.000+08:00

Despite the bleak prospects of her return, like the motivation for every crisis, I listened to both the angels and devils. I heeded the gut sense that pointed to her possible demise and told myself to face my loss. Yet, on another hand, I was hopeful, looking out at every silhouette which vaguely resembled her, a glimmer of possibility which led to many unresponded callings.

Yes, as they have predicted, it would have devastated and distracted my in a crucial period that required unwavering focus and unbroken concentration. I bear no ill will and am thankful to my family and loved ones for keeping the truth away distant from my knowledge. At least until the length of time that required a passage of single-mindedness had passed.

The ghost of you remains - a memory of times when you were still around. Traces of you remain here and there, floating around now and then when the wind blows. Your gentle caress upon me brings bittersweet memories of the past and of what may have been.

Like the others, you will never be forgotten and our memories will reside in my heart forever, as long as I breathe. I do hope that you are in a better place, perhaps meeting up with those that have gone before you, loving companions that have touched my life in more ways that one.

I hope it was swift, that your pain was never prolonged beyond necessity to grant you transit into your next journey. I would like to think that the ephemeral touch of love and shelter without worry or concern has placed something in your heart that you will always treasure, to replace the fear and starvation that a feral life would have entailed.

In loving memory. An ode to you. A mention of love and friendship on your epitaph.

Esplanade Dreams

2006-04-12T02:12:00.000+08:00

The link says it all.

But just incase you are too lazy or busy to click on the link and to wait for your internet browser to load the page, the details are simple -

The Esplanade Presents Programme, in conjunction with the Singapore Arts Festival 2006, proudly brings to you -

7 Till Dawn Performing @ Esplanade Outdoor Theater
15th April 2006
7.30 pm - 10.45 pm (3 sets of 45 minutes each)

Page capture taken from www.esplande.com

~

In the midst of exam week, to realize this dream (and to fulfill a commitment made some time ago), the crazy people from this band have been jamming through their study week and exam week to prepare for this gig.

Hell, we will even be playing our new original (and the old ones too)!

So, make a date with us. Note it down in your schedules and be there on Saturday night!

Acceptance in Denial

2006-04-07T16:54:00.001+08:00

Audible to none save myself, the song plays itself tirelessly in an endless loop.

At the end of the world,
Or the last thing I see

The entire tune renders itself indistinct and vague, with only the chorus blasting in complete clarity.

You are
Never coming home
Never coming home

Resigned to fate, I try to surrender all possible hopes of reunification. Yet, I contradict myself, lacing it with a diminishing sense of denial.

Could I?
Should I?

Poignant grief cannot endure forever. But allow me, for now, to wallow in the pools of melancholy, permitting the simplest things to evoke the memories of the ghost of you.

And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever

Deny me this sanity; allow me my grief. Grant me this period of introspection, to embrace my pain one last time before moving on.

Home is now a painful prospect, but I shall return soon.

While You're Gone

2006-04-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

Like a parent too busy with his career, I regret not spending more time with you when I had the chance.

A home once filled with the pitter-patter of running feet, now rings empty in its halls.

I miss your silly games at the foot of my bed, as you sat there playing, with the innocence of adolescence and the wild abandonment of youth.

Your youthful curiosity carried you into all sorts of trouble - irritating at that moment, but enduring nevertheless.

I waited and called, like a parent waiting for his child to return from a late night out.

Yet, it seems that return, you never will.

Despite this bad premonition that resonates from my gut, we shall hope and pray for your safe return.

Please come home soon, Pepper.

The Theory of Inverse Networking

2006-03-30T17:22:00.000+08:00

A friend mentioned this during a casual chat on Sunday night.

~

As much as networking is touted as an important aspect of "moving ahead" in life and in the corporate world, what really matters is not the amount of people you know, but rather, the number of people who know you.

Think about it. Even if you have 200 contacts, who are all at or above managerial level, the chances of them offering you a job is pretty low, unless you actively chase them for openings and only if they have a lasting and strong impression of you, coupled with a chance opening that coincides with your request.

On the flip side, if they know you, you will be one of the first few personnel whom they will think of when their company is recruiting and they may, in turn, make the effort to contact you rather than for you to contact them.

~

Without needing too much elaboration, as I am certain that you, my dear reader, can fathom the benefits of such a proposition.

Perhaps it is time for us to stick out our fingers and to count the number of people who know us, on top of the number of people whom we already know.

Remember, impression management matters.

Reminiscence

2006-03-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

Call me a sentimental old fool, but I simply could not walk away without some form of a final goodbye.

I returned today, one last time, to pay my respects and to give her a final farewell.

~

Farewell old friend, for our on-off relationship since 1988, when I first resided in your stately presence. Thank you for accompanying me over the many quiet and lonely nights with the warmth of your steady security, whispering your soft creaks and untold secrets which up till today, I have yet to decipher.

You alone bore witness to the many milestones in my life, from my many firsts to my growth and maturity as an individual. You alone heard every word whispered, spoken and sung from these lips. Despite your impassionate silence, you experienced my every emotion as a growing child, from denial, anger, rejection, fury, violence, impassioned stubbornness to my transition of calm, humor, resilience, joy. You suffered with my actions and decisions made, from the broken windows and doors to the drama that unfolded within the household.

Denied of voice, you silently acknowledged all my secrets and kept them as such. I thank you for your steady companionship.

Farewell, for come our next meeting, I may never find you standing there again.

~

I stood in the driveway, a tinge of melancholy twisting my heart as I saw her basked in a shroud darkness. On the morrow, the plug of life support will be pulled. No longer will she pulse with the spark of electrical life and channel the substance of life through her veins. Come another two more months and she will be no more.

Forlorn, I stepped in, respectful of the encompassing silence and whispered my last words to her. Flooded with the many memories which she alone had bore witness to, I stared blankly, mental photographs of her once occupied halls, coupled with the bustle of what only a home can be ringing in my mind.

I learnt all about my life, by looking into her empty halls.

Soon, you shall be no more. You shall be forgotten by some, or made a faded memory by a select few, but rest assured that your memory will always live on in my heart.

You will be sorely missed.

~

In silence, I entered the car, backed out of the driveway and left, my sorrow sated by the knowledge that I have said my farewells and that it was time to move on.

Forever Freedom!

2006-03-23T00:15:00.000+08:00

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot
I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot

In a rare show of spontaneity and temporal abandonment of my academic duties; to celebrate a minor victory of sorts and to seek some respite from the insane rush that defines university life, with no small part due to the recommendation of a temptress of the pro-entertainment vein, I decided on the night of the first day of the week to catch the Wachowski Brother's highly rated V for Vendetta (of which it was purported that The Matrix drew part of its inspiration from).

In all honesty, I was completely blown away and amazed at the execution of the show, of the manner in which violence and brutality were depicted, of the prose, blank verse and iambic pentameters used in its conversations without overbearing the style of the movie and of the many symbolisms subtly slotted into the course of the show.

The people should not be afraid of their government. The government should be afraid of the people

A movie in which I can walk out of the theater remembering a fair number of its quotes ad verbatim is, in my books, plain awesome. To Alan Moore, the creator of the graphic novel that spawned this movie, I salute your vision, creativity and genius.

Ideals are bulletproof

If you are in search of Hollywood fare of the typical garden variety, chances are, you might think that the movie aims to propel itself via its overly complicated language and perspectives, to confound its audience, or that the movie is plain fluff. Perhaps this movie is not for you then. However, almost all of those whom I have spoken to so far agree with me that the movie is nothing short of pure brilliance.

I would tell you unabashedly, in the midst of week 12 of the semster to take two hours off your hectic schedule to catch this movie. It will be worth it.

Hell, I'm definately getting the DVD when its released.

A Passing of Ninety Six Strikes of Sixty Upon Sixty

2006-03-15T17:49:00.000+08:00

In the darkness, I saw light at the end of the tunnel, except that a tunnel has light at both ends. It never appealed to me, except that I sought to escape from the reality of my helplessness through directing my frustration and anger at the decision makers that created this cupboard hurricane that threw my world into turmoil and disarray, much when the hands of the clock strikes against me in the face of looming deadlines and intense mental pressure.

In a sanctuary by the wall, where I was a stranger in the cultural rift where people of diverse ethnicity converged, I found solace. Colored parchment glued upon a post. The lion remained silent as another narrated his philosophy in writing. A calm and focused mind unperturbed by anger, frustration or distractions.

Acquaintances that I never expected to meet. Perhaps there are six ways till Sunday, never a single straight road in life. Four hour conversations to listen and present objectively with the constant rhythm of clacking alphabets dancing across a keyboard in a clumsy dash-like fashion.

All that begins with an A ends with an A. A full circle that goes round. Chaotically speculative that leaves all confound. A summer's day dream of meeting the rising sun, basking in the sonic intensity of all her glorious imports. Letting go of a discourse which had long slipped out of my grasp and laid beyond my reach within the fence.

~

Focus and perserve and you can do it. You know this is beneath you and you can.

White Doves and Olive Branches

2006-03-15T16:22:00.000+08:00

Now that the two protagonists have cleared the air, it is my time too, in being the third opinion to be voiced, to similarly clear the air.

~

Firstly, I retract what I had said in my previous post and apologize with regards to misunderstanding the person to whom the post was directed at. Like I had mentioned, I was annoyed by your post about me, of which your opinion I cannot shape and will not bother to influence upon change. Your impression, speculations and opinions are yours and yours alone. And I do respect that. I have acknowledged since the beginning that it is not possible for me to make decisions that satisfies everyone. However, I do hope that you will understand that whatever I have done has been for everyone and never have I done it for myself. As a performer, organizer and a member of the committee, I have always opened whatever I could find to all. Whether those interested are ultimately selected, is nearly always a decision out of my hands, due to a potential conflict of interest.

Also, I have never craved power or influenced the decisions of our predecessors, no matter how you may want to view it. I just saw what we, yes, including you, and all the others, have created as something that was falling apart due to poor management initially. In being one of the few who were keeping it afloat and attempting to revive it, those before us decided to choose me as its figurehead, due to my network, associations and prior experience in its operations. To be very frank, given a choice, I would have much preferred to stay in the shadows of another leader, focusing on my craft instead and being a catalyst for other potential ventures.

For the record, if you look into yourself and dig up our past interactions, or speak to your fellow comrades in our craft who carry the same banner as you, I believe I can objectively state that I have always been supportive and helpful whenever I can, to you and your bandmates.

Anyway, the point of the issue and the focus of my angst was directed at you, not at your opinion towards me, which you are wholly entitled to think or blog about, as it is your space for verbal recourse, but on our common friend with whom you have made peace with. As I said, I was standing up for a good friend, whom I would not abide or condone the damaging statements that were seemingly inflicted upon him. It has nothing to do with fear but rather, a friendship strong enough for one to place himself on the record for to defend. I do not enjoy burning bridges or making strong comments, but there are things work fighting for and this friendship is one of them. On a side note, I have never seen you as a powerless individual. You have alot of potential. Harness it.

Ok. I believe enough has been said on all three fronts. Once again, I extend my hand in humble apology for this misunderstanding and retract the comments I made in my prior post.

The Upcoming Second Round

2006-03-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

Mediacorp has finally contacted me, informing me that the 2nd round of my idol auditions will be next Sunday, 19th March 2006, 9 am at the HDB hub at Toa Payoh.

This will be the round where I will sing before the 4 judges, who will then decide if I am one of the 300 who will be going to Caldecott Hill.

I really hope that the queue would not be as monstrous as that of the 1st round of auditions. The Mediacorp representative that contacted me said that in the best case scenario, if it ends early, it may only take 30 minutes. I assume that is if I pop by to queue overnight for this round. For the worst case scenario, he said it should end around 1 pm plus.

For this round (as mentioned in an earlier post about the generation of media hype), I am supposed to get 5 friends to accompany me for this round. Any takers?

That Classic Nintendo Tune

2006-03-10T03:39:00.000+08:00

After the last post, here is something a little more light-hearted to wow and entertain you guys.

This guy rocks my world! Check out his 2 guitar, finger-tapped version of the Mario Brother's Tune, from the video game.

Also, do check out a classical guitar , an electric guitar, a bass guitar , a piano, marimba (this one is fun, people running around doing stuff the characters in the game do), acapella (a medly of game tunes - watch the Zelda tune at the back of the video) and an 11 String Bass Guitar version of the Mario Tune.

Have fun watching them!

Like I said it would happen. Well, it happened.

2006-03-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

This post will be a burst of angst, annoyance, disappointment and disgust, which I seldom emote with such intensity. I have always saw myself as an accomodating and fairly patient person, able to rationalize issues and to calm down quickly before I say something which I may come to regret.

In all senses of the word, I am not perfect, but I do conciously try my upmost to make the right decisions and to always find out the entire situation, from the point of view from both parties before I make a stand.

Enough about myself. Those who have worked with me would know me well enough in this aspect.

You know who you are. This post is dedicated to you.

~

Amongst the many types of personalities and characteristics which I have ever encountered, I have never truly despised any, save one kind of person - The person who bites the hands that feeds him.

I have no qualms regarding your comments that were directed towards me. In life, one can never make everyone happy. Hence, rather than to cater to the opinions of one stubborn or bigoted person who refuses to see the truth, the bigger picture or reality, I choose decisions that will maximize the benefits of everyone in general. I apologize and empathize if you are unable to make the cut, but such is reality; hence the reference to it as "the harsh realities of life".

I offered and extended help and advice on multiple occasions. Yet, you turned a deaf ear and refused to listen or accommodate the constructive criticisms and to understand the rational behind the decisions of others, drowning them out against the selfishly opinionated perspective that you choose to allow to dominate your thoughts and to cloud your comments, reactions and behavior.

I stand by the decisions that I have made and yes, I render myself accountable to whatever criticism or comments that may arise. And I am confident that the colleagues around us will rally behind me if this matter was ever pursued, should you finally decide to bring it up to me directly, instead of hiding behind a facade of words, assumptions, half-truths, accusations and lies.

Despite the personal attacks that you have afflicted upon me, which only serve to annoy, the one thing which I cannot abide is the manner in which you are trying to bring down the person which has sacrificed, committed and done so much in your personal benefit. No, I am not referring to myself, but to a close friend of mine, whom I have forged a kinship with over the last three years.

Your false accusations and assumptions as to his intents are truly deplorable. I can abide by irresponsibility from a person in various situations, but in this course of this matter, your comments were truly irresponsible, reflecting your immaturity, selfishness and childishness. How long has it been since the incident and yet, you are still bringing it up as a point of reference, with all your facts wrong? If you had only looked deep enough, you would have experienced the scolding and opposition which HE had faced, out of friendship towards you, to assist you.

HE had bent over backwards to render himself to your cause, breaking the rules - for your benefit - and alone had to incurred the verbal wrath of the authorities. HE attempted to stem the responses and unhappiness, which was directed at you, at his own expense, with no tangible profit to himself, to go out of his way to offer you his support, at his honor.

Together, we had pledge support to your cause, in the face of growing opposition and had even promised to loan personal property to you, just for you to have things your way, because of a personal promise you had made prior to the tussle, committing yourself to something which you had no certainty in ensuring that it would happen.

Yet, this is how you repay someone who gives himself selflessly to your cause. I would have liked to imagine that your misguided response to these issues stems from your inability to comprehend the bigger picture or misinformation from the wrong sources, amongst the many possibilities. However, based on your selfish and pushy nature, it is apparent that you only crave personal benefit, only taking without giving.

You know who you are. I could stop short of saying that you are a small, petty and immature man who has gotten all his facts wrong. In fact, I will stop just short of insulting your parents, saying that they have brought you up without teaching you proper manners.

However, I cannot help but say this - You disgust me.

Beyond Expectations

2006-03-06T02:29:00.000+08:00

I initially had little expectations for this performance. Expecting it to be a performance which fell into the "time filler" category, I expected an unresponsive, minute, and nonchalent audience who would monitor their watches, waiting for the big acts after us to begin.

Faye and I were initially scheduled to play for the NUS Arts Festival. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, Faye was unable to make it for this performance. I then got Ja, my singer from 7 Till Dawn, to fill in for Faye. Considering that we have been performing together in various bands for close to three years now, he seemed the best person for the job.

It turned out that the gig was immensely enjoyable and fun, despite the initial lukewarm response from the crowd. We were having fun bantering with the crowd, trying to provoke a response from them.

Boy did things change for the better once a whole class of primary school students from Concorde Secondary School was ushered to the front row of our little stage! Ja and I were having a ball of a time joking around with them, with me cracking comment after comment from their murmured responses.

The energy in the crowd took a turn for the better after I cajoled the students about who liked Chinese songs, which ended with Ja singing "An Jing" by Jay Chou. The crowd's jaws hung limp as Ja sang the entire song.

We ended the set with "Two Steps Behind", which drew fairly loud applause from the small crowd that had gathered to watch us perform. Not bad really.

~

Hopefully this little act between Ja and I will get more gigs in the future. I really enjoyed myself at the NUS Arts Festival and got to learn and practice a thing or two about audience interaction via bantering with the crowd.

Utterly Orgasmic

2006-03-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to everyone who missed FACE OFF! - The most rocking and insane rock concert in SMU ever. Period.

FACE OFF! was a success, with most of the crowd staying for the show, from the start to the end. The quality of the bands were simply amazing, with stunning vocalists and a high level of musicianship and showmanship.

Priceless moments, like the mass jam at the end of the concert, where the musicians from all three bands took to the stage, Antz & Guitarissimo Band's "For the Love of God", Ngai Kay's how-the-hell-did-he-do-it guitar-behind-the-head stunner of a solo, D'Funk's "Flight of the Bumblebee" instrumental piece, the 3 drummer's drum solo over one extended drumset, the great vocal harmonies during "Long Train Running" and the guitar duels that rocked "Smells Likes Teen Spirit" will remain etched in my memory for eternity.

For once, the bands were all on par with one another, without one band standing out over their peers. In fact, in my opinion, in having attracted and maintained the crowd from the beginning of the show to the end of the mass jam, we have just showed SMU that our university bands can put up as good a show, without the presence of any external bands. And that, my friend, is a big step forward from the quality of the bands when the band scene in SMU first started.

The staging, sound and lighting were all nothing short of spectacular, with all due credit going to LN and Gerard and Studio Comm for directing the setting up and for running it during the show.
Apart from the bands, special mention would of course have to go out to SMUBE for providing three fantastic emcees in the form of the utterly sexy Grace, Mysterious Mona Faizal and Quadruple J - Jesse James Jeremiah Jalleh!

~

Also, I finally fronted the band, singing Muse's "Time is Running Out". Thankfully my virgin attempt at fronting a band did not result in the audience fleeing the concert venue in terror. Prior to the start of the song, when I was onstage facing the audience, I was a complete wreck of nerves.

A Show Not To Be Missed!

2006-02-24T02:35:00.000+08:00

3 Clubs, 3 Bands, 1 Crazy stage (set up by none other than the awesome folks from the Studio Comm)

On the 3rd of March 2006, Studio Comm, Guitarissimo and SoundFoundry proudly presents "Face Off!". This rock concert will happen at the SMU school of information system's basement 1's Big Steps.

Do pop by to show your support to our very own SMU bands - D'Funked, Guitarissimo Band and 7 Till Dawn - as we bring you a night full of honest to goodness all out rock!

To top this crazy endeavor off, there will be an ambitious concept which has never been attempted in SMU - a combined jam between the musicians of all three bands! (Think 3 keyboardists, 4 guitarists, 2 bassists & 7 vocalists)

So, keep this event marked out on your schedules and I will see you guys on Friday night!

7 Till Dawn Loves Their Drummer

2006-02-17T12:35:00.002+08:00

Taken from Prataz's Blog, I love this profile of the band, especially that of Fi, our beloved and most sporting drummer (picture was taken during a post-modern class presentation. Think Paris Hilton).

Here are a few more pictures of the band, some taken from our recent photoshoot.

A Dilemma in Musical Direction

2006-02-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

Deciding to join at 5.35 pm the day before. Waking up at 5.45 am. 13 hour queues. Tremendous support from my girlfriend. One bandmate to kill time with. Cramming revision while wating. 20 minutes of thankful air-conditioned waiting. Barely 5 minutes of singing in total.

This summed up my bid to join Singapore Idol 2, which thankfully paid off as I progressed to the second round of auditions. Hopefully I will impress in the judges as I did to the producers during the next round.

Problem is, I have no idea how to market myself, or of what songs I should sing at the 2nd round of auditions. The fundamental problem lies in my image. My passion lies in singing jazz, but should I sell jazz when I am a rocker at heart? Should I present myself as a rocker, or as a crooner?

I'll be thankful if any of you dear friends who are reading this blog could suggest an idea or two for my Idol image and for potential songs that I can sing (and impress, which are mainstream and catchy) for the 2nd round of auditions with the judges.

I'll have to sing the same song for the 2nd round of auditions, which would be Frank Sinatra/Michael Buble's "Come Fly With Me" and two other songs. Suggestions?

~

On another hand, I am learning alot about marketing from Singapore Idol, on positioning, branding, building brand excitement, hype and sensation creation, just from pure observation alone. This truly is an eye-opening insight into the entertainment industry, despite my being only in the infant stages of the competition.

White Envelopes and Family Reunions

2006-02-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

Let's face it. Nothing brings a family, extended, immediate or otherwise, together like the death of a family member. To a certain degree, ironic in itself, a funeral wake is akin to a family reunion.

Perhaps it is our human nature to take life and the living for granted. How many times have we decided skip a meeting with our relatives, or even friends, for that matter, while they are still alive? Yet, once they depart from this plane, everyone makes the time to flock down to those few precious days of the wake to pay their respects and to see the physical shell of the relative that once was before his/her cremation or burial.

Sadly, most of the times when these long forgotten relatives meet up to mourn the passing of one within the family, the interaction and conversations are brief, superficial and transient. With everyone leaving as acquaintances, time passes its harsh influence on our memories and eventually reduces everyone into strangers that are related only distantly by blood.

Once again, the cycle repeats itself - Only at the next passing will everyone gather and reacquaint themselves with one another. This is the sad reality of today, a by product of our modern individualistic culture of strangled values and asphexiated pace of life.

As Muse said - "Time is running out".

The Language of Music & 7 Till Dawn

2006-01-23T01:59:00.000+08:00

Music - the one language that brings people from all backgrounds and cultures together.

The scene, atmosphere and energy that exploded at SMU's Grand Opening's Rock Concert on the 20th January was simply awesome. Of all the SMU gigs that I have ever been to or performed at, this gig takes the cake.

Never in my wildest dreams, would i imagine a 200 - 300 strong crowd composing of local/foreign/exchange students, faculty, deans, school administration staff and outsiders all dancing, jumping, head-banging, singing along and rocking to the concert. Even the Minister for Education, Thaman Shanmugaratnam, who graced our event, had praises for the bands. I sincerely hope that he enjoyed the concert.

In the face of all the raving reviews from staff, faculty, friends and strangers, it seemed almost naive for me to have worried, before the concert, about a possible poor turnout, more than partly due to the fact that the concert started at 9.30 pm, an abnormally late time to hold a rock concert in campus grounds.

With an insane time schedule to follow, Bernard (the rock concert's 2IC) and I were literally managing the concert by the minutes, checking our watches constantly to ensure that the concert began on time and that the bands all stuck to their performance durations, for all 3 scheduled bands to have sufficient stage time. The precision with which time was measured by its seconds was truly another aspect of the experience of the gig. Thankfully, the concert's program went well, with only several minor hiccups during showtime.

The inclusion of Ngak's band into the show, as the external band to grace the event, was a decision that thankfully, yielded positive results, as they are pretty well known in the pub circuit, but relatively unknown in SMU. Thankfully, this gamble paid off. Many thanks and credit would go to Firdaus, who helped contact and source for the bands for this concert, providing valuable advice and council on the external bands. I owe you much thanks bro.

~

I am also very proud of 7 Till Dawn, for putting up one of the best shows we ever had, at the Grand Opening Rock Concert. Truly, in every gig that we do (despite not making it for JamX 2006 Finals, or winning the similarly rigged Euphoria @ Indocine event last year), we always aim to connect with the crowd and rock the stage and always walk out the performance venue accomplishing our objectives. Nothing beats the sight of the crowd abandoning their inhibitions and rocking to our music, or hearing them singing along to our songs louder than our monitors, or to experience the shouts of a frenzied crowd demanding "We want more!" to express their desire for an encore. These are the little things that will make up one's life memories.

Truly, the friendships, shared experiences, jamming time, suppers and common ambitions will, I believe, bring us to our desired destination one day. For now, all we have to do is to take things one step at a time. Hopefully, when we have graduated, we will still be jamming together, making music like how we do now and following our dreams and passions.

~

Talking about dreams and passion - Thank you Jamiel, for re-introducing the beauty of music into my life (read the link. I was a member of the Caribbean Curry Puffs). Without that fateful initial push from you, I would not have become the person I am in SMU and would not have found my place in this institute.

~

Certain persons in SMU praising the SMU Bands that they were on par (or better, in the words of my mother who attended the concert) with the guest bands, also made my day, allowing me to prove the value of our own local SMU talent. The positive comments and feedback received from other musicians out of SMU who attended the concert were also very encouraging.

~

Putting all this aside, now that the Grand Opening Rock Concert is over, 7 Till Dawn will now have to focus on preparing for Bondue's Dinner @ Timbre on 2nd February and the Combined Concert (Studio Comm, Guitarissimo and SoundFoundry) on 3rd March.

It's going to be a busy semester. *smiles*

Twenty Six Summers and Beyond

2006-01-19T15:45:00.000+08:00

It was a first for me, in meeting an old friend who shares the same number of summers as me, who is pregnant. The sensation was queer, in a manner that was neither positive nor negative, to say the least.

Yet, after having the inspiration for this post for the last five days, with the concept of a comparison and reflection on my life with that of my peers, I still cannot place a word to that queer sensation or to put a finger on how exactly it has affected me cognitively.

However, I do know that this feeling has inspired me towards the composition of this post, which spawned from the introspection that I underwent in search of a definition ot this reaction which I experienced in meeting a pregnant friend.

At being slightly over a quarter of a century old, meeting a five month pregnant friend impressed upon me a certain benchmark on the current standing of my life. Upon this introspection, my first descriptors of myself was that of an unemployed undergraduate who simply has an interest in music and drama, who tries his best to make the most out of his undergraduate experience, juggling both academically and non-academic interests.

At this age, in the methodologically clockwork society I call home, common expectations dictate that I should already be establishing my career path and purchasing the necessities of life that the others in my age and educational category are pursuing or have obtained.

Despite my constant worrying about my future employment prospects, I always wondered and questioned the attractiveness of these ideals, in the face of my pursuit of my passions and my entrepreneurial dreams. Am I being idealisitically stubborn, romanticizing my ideals of my future or fuelling a passionate dream that may turn out to be hollow and empty in facing the demands of the real world?

Truly, I am cautious of disappointment and fear certain failures, as my mind's eye gazes into a contemplative and speculative world of myself within the advancement of the next decade.

To Eileen, I wish you and Keith all the best and send all my blessings to your wonderful daughter, who will be acquainted with two wonderful parents in four months time.

Haiku

2006-01-18T15:06:00.000+08:00

My take on a Haiku exercise done in Creative Tactical Communications class, with the subject matter being that of our favourite movie -

The Matrix Haiku

Robots Rule the World,
'The One' Frees Humanity
Truly - Are We Free?

This Robot Is Cooler Than Mine

2006-01-11T17:11:00.000+08:00

To the Transformers fan who may be reading this blog, this video may be worth checking out. The video was purportedly created by Industrial Light & Magic (ILM), a Lucasfilm company that handles the CGG for numerous big budget Hollywood films.

Hopefully it is a clip from a movie that may be produced in the near future.

Enjoy!

Copyright Laws - Getting Out Of Hand?

2006-01-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

In reading this article "It's a fiddle!", I am beginning to feel that Intellectual Property Rights laws pertaining to music are beginning to get really out of hand. If such a law is passed, the costs will definitely be transferred to the purchaser of the musical instrument, whose playing of a familiar riff or lick is nothing more than simply the testing of the instrument, which does not constitute a public performance.

In the event that such a motion is passed and that a public performance is defined as any recognizable music/riff that is heard by anyone other than the musician himself, I shudder at the thought of how draconian our IP laws in Singapore may become in the years to come.

Coupled with the news on the crackdown on online lyrics and music scores, I seriously feel that the music industry, in years to come, may regret its decision in making such a move. In increasing the gradient of an already steep learning curve for musicians by restricting sharing and removing and limiting the number of sources where budding musicians can learn how to play the songs which they love, such a law may backfire in that fewer and fewer people might decide against becoming a musician. The lack of learning resources and the high prices of buying "original" music scores (which are only released by a handful of bands/musicians, as most musicians do not publish their scores) would, in turn, alienate the followers and lovers of music.

~

If you feel against what the MPA is doing, why not sign this online petition?

'Nuff Said & Well Wishes

2006-01-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

Super Fir's MSN nick- "My robot more power than your ninja turtle"

To Super Fir - "My ninja turtle more power, OK?"

~

To those who have not allowed their inner child to perish as they grow older and take on more adult responsibilities in life, do join in the fun - Bash Super Fir verbally on MSN. Tell him how much more powerful your Robot/Ninja Turtle is!

~

To Wanida, all the best for your driving test tomorrow!

Remembering this motto (credit goes to Darnie for coining this phrase) and your blind spots will ensure you a swift and successful route to your license!

"Kan Chong Will Not Prevail!"

Closing Stages

2006-01-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

Not even a whimper of a bang was heard, as dead silence rang throughout the sudden but anticipated end of the affiliation. Soundless echoes rippled across my mind, mirroring and amplifying the lack of emotions that I initially sensed.

The swiftness of it all stunned me into speechlessness. Utterly astonished, I was reeling in shock and yet, surprised by my own sense of relief, which dawned on me in the latter half of the hour. It has finally come down to this, based on both internal and external circumstances, lending the words to my mouth that I dared not speak, supplying a reason for this division.

No longer will I have to drag my feet and swallow those sentiments of dread, or to suffer the rants, accusations and justifications by another, sometimes rigid, stubborn, temperamental and self-righteous.

On another hand, I do look fondly back on the shared journeys and of the lessons which I have learnt and experienced.

A fitting farewell it was, I suppose, with nary a char on the bridge, left intact. Thank you very much and goodbye. Let us hold a fitting tribute and interment to what was and was not, through maintaining the silence of the bang that went off soundlessly.

The Korean Experience

2005-12-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

A collage of pictures taken during my recent trip to Korea, during the winter season.

A word of caution if you are going to Korea - Koreans are an ethnocentric race, preferring to speak nothing out of their Korean language, with few translations of their road signs, street names and landmarks. Even hotels/tourist spots restaurant menus are predominantly in Korean.

I managed to find a handful of English phrases only in Lotte Hotel, which is considered "international" by their standards. If you ever find yourself with a query and approach them in English or Mandarin, chances are, that encounter would only be marred by your frustration in the face of the stupendous language barrier.

So, if you are going to Korea, do yourself a favor and learn some commonly used Korean phrases first, lest you become like me and have to resort to "sign language" to communicate your intentions or questions.

The Night of the Birth of the iBitch, Amongst Other Things

2005-12-27T13:18:00.000+08:00

Supper with the 7 Till Dawn guys is always fun and full of mental-load-lightening nonsense. Just take a look at a recent entry in Jinfu's blog.

Power Rangers: 7 Till Dawn

The auditions on friday went well, with 7 Till Dawn, for the first time, having one of their best showings at an audition. Perhaps the inclusion of a new keyboardist that clicked well with the rest of the band musically and personality-wise complemented the band in a manner that just did not occur previously.

On another note, the standard of the bands in SMU has definately improved, with the influx of many new musicians on the SMU band scene. Too bad D'funked and Jetlaxx were unable to make it for the auditions. They would have definately stood a good chance in performing for either SMU's Grand Opening or Patron's Day.

Friday night also saw the birth of the iBitch, an interesting concept in the age of iDogs, iPods and 'i' stuffs.

From An Email

2005-12-27T12:57:00.000+08:00

Incredibly witty.

~

"Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. "

Une Histoire de Deux Amants

2005-12-27T03:45:00.000+08:00

The final piece of the puzzle, a slow falling into realization; awakening in a world where rainbows are black and white, tinted with shades of grey.

Sad rhetoric from the couple plastered on the screen, a melancholic comedy filmed through the pitter-pattering of curious acquaintances, all wrapped up in a tempest wrought from the foundations of societal conventions.

Like a noir-esque film, the drab shades of this world are painted only by the colorless drops of rain, the perpetual drizzle that refuses to depart, that run parallel to the metaphorical tears of the protagonists.

Whilst the silent one, bound to his oath, watches on with hopeless despair, like she, he knows the ending of this sad tale. With bullet like speed, much too recent since the beginning, the reel seemingly reaches its end.

The empty theater with its flickering blank gray screen is accompanied only by the hollow clicking of the projector’s wheels, never halting, waiting only for the end to this tale or the beginning of the next.

This post is dedicated to the tale of two friends, who are still resolving the conclusion to their newly penned chapter.

I can only offer and advise optimism to their situation

The Aftermath of a Successful Collaboration

2005-12-13T18:58:00.000+08:00

It is interesting in how people perceive certain details, especially during collaboration, once the results of the task are released. It did leave a dull ache in my being, rather than a sharp or bitter sensation, when the perpetrator is none other than the culprit who has overstated their achievements and a friend whom you trusted and thought did likewise.

One's tongue is hard to control when it is not your own, with eyes hard to focus when the details are simply omitted, I suppose.

Or was it a case of calculated misdemeanor, with the other party lacking self-reflection on one’s contribution?

Nevertheless, I shall be more wary henceforth, to cover my six. Greyness has seeped into this once innocent amity.

On another note, I am really touched by a sweet gesture from another friend. Thank you Min min.

Intellectual Self Esteem

2005-12-13T18:38:00.000+08:00

In writing, especially when being judged upon and evaluated, no matter how much one ponders and wracks one's brains on the topic at hand, one would still doubt the paper's intellectual depth and content.

Is this the consequence of intelligence that if one can think of a concept or philosophy, one would still feel that it is lacking in depth? Or is this simply the result of one's insecurities and lack of intellectual self esteem?

Have you ever had this feeling when writing a paper or report?

An Interesting Experience

2005-12-13T18:34:00.001+08:00

Source:

Shirt, Pants & Size 28

An Existentialistic Outlook?

2005-12-04T04:01:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine took a peek at the blog and commented that I was an existentialist.

I'm wondering - Do you agree with him?

For the benefit of those (which includes myself), who have no idea what an existentialist is -

ex·is·ten·tial·ism (ĕg'zĭ-stĕn'shə-lĭz'əm, ĕk'sĭ-)
n.

A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

Source:

www.answers.com

Kai, this post is dedicated to you.

A Surrealistic Evening

2005-12-04T02:42:00.000+08:00

The process of watching oneself on screen, is at best, weird. Many minutes passed before I was finally able to focus on the show and enjoy the story. The initial moments, awkward, as I studied, graded, evaluated and criticised my own performance; the vantage or bane of being granted the perspective of a third person.

Nevertheless, its experience was refreshing and held the roots for a crucial beginning towards my personal growth as an amateur actor.

The verdict is out for those who have seen it and I shall keep my own council for the time being, at the request of the director.

Thank you 'R', for this great opportunity.

Utter Beauty

2005-12-04T02:13:00.000+08:00

That was what it is. The physical representation of pure, utter beauty.

Never in my life have I set gaze upon such a magnificent sight. Such towering grandeur and dramatic opulence! I felt humbled and minisculed in the presence of its majesty, as it filled the sky with its wonderous palette of white, blue, fiery orange, calming yellow and angry red, with its nearly solid rays of light piercing through the heavens like shining blades.

Despite only catching a glimpse of this wonderous and inimitable portrait of splendor, its exquisiteness was so intense and raw that its image would be eternally imprinted into my consciousness.

Now, whenever I glance westwards, I see her cousins, stately in their splendor and unique in their own ways, but never comparable to her.

Lost Friends

2005-12-02T03:27:00.000+08:00

A simple post dedicated to several friends of mine, whom I lost in August this year.

Amidst the chaos of life and the loss of appreciation for the simpler things, which have been taken for granted by many of us too busy focusing on our pursuits, you brought back the simple pleasures that material wealth could never afford.

Your unconditional love and companionships gave to me a new meaning in life; a treasure beyond compare. The enthusiasm you expressed in the simple joys of life returned unto me tenfold, diverting my mind from the many troubles which continually plagued me. You unknowingly lent cheer, comfort and strength to an almost broken soul, heartbroken at seeing a loved one wracked with weak health and to another, spent from the agony of illnesses, on the very verge of exasperation.

You gave new meanings into life that we would have never known or acknowledged without your fateful entrances into our lives. I hope that when you departed, some fragment of our love was brought with you into wherever your continued journey leads you to. Unlike many of your other nameless peers, you carried into your passing your names and our affections.

I pray that you are all in a better place than what I could have ever provided. I miss you. Lots. And still do think of you frequently, despite the months that have passed.

One Man's Crusade

2005-11-30T01:43:00.000+08:00

Something inside me has started ticking, set off in motion by a series of events that will cumulated in a decoration of recognition. The cogs and wheels that have been set off into momentum are edging me forward in a solo campaign for equality amongst the contenders.

In an award that seeks to distinguish those outstanding in their altruistic contributions towards our society, I cannot stand by and abide potential nominees who wield their involvements in projects in which they received monetary profits, using them as declarations of their participation against those others who have done so out of selfless motivations.

As one of the many who have given truely out of the heart without any expectations of profit or material gain, if such a nominee does indeed triumph using such means, it would no doubt be a slap in all our faces, given the amount of dedication which we have pumped and given to our society, without any glimmer of desire for recognition or return.

Wierd that I would feel so strongly about such a quest, in that even if I succeed, the receipant of the award would most probably not be myself, but another. Perhaps it is due to the amount of injustice which I have bourne witness to over the years. Perhaps it the time when my heart has decided to speak out aloud and to try and make a positive change for others around me.

Nevertheless, whatever it is, this is one issue which I feel strongly about. Despite my idealism, in a world where some get their cake and eat it, where many have proclaimed it as unfair, I will try, with every fiber of my being, to create a level playing field, where fairness and equality will be a reality for all players, for once.

Writer's Block

2005-11-30T01:13:00.001+08:00

Despite many weeks of analysing, brooding and pondering, I have yet to contemplate on a subject fit of my portfolio; the final obstacle that stands in the path of my road to the utter abandonment of my academic duties until the winter is over.

I have considered many topics, from that of religion, staging, feminism and culture, to name a few. Yet, all of them seem either too one-sided or too well explored to grant me the necessary depth that I would require.

Perhaps I need to seek council from my verbal-sparring partner to grant me some inspiration.

From the Womb of Disappointment...

2005-11-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

I compose my first post as a release from an incident that has laid anchor to my mind, lending rant to my mouth as a gnawing melancholy that has burrowed into my heart. Perhaps a transcription of my sentiments will repress these feelings and lend better control to my emotions.

Disappointment has consumed me over the better half of the last thirty four hours. A sensation that quells up unexpectedly at the slightest hint of the preceedings that led to our absymal failure. A malfunction of a presentation that should never have happened, that has left the bitter taste of discontent on my tongue.

It was never an issue of the unjust distribution of work. Rather, mainly regarding the assignment of duties that one had partook on behalf of his lack of contribution, or perhaps out of guilt. Nevertheless, the absymal and slipshod quality of work presented, considering the vast measures of time taken for it's creation, was more than disappointing. Forewarning and reminders were made, with none heeded. References and sources were created, with none referred. The concluding results were nothing less than shockingly inadequate.

I do reprimand myself for not taking better control of the situation, for not commandering the duties bestowed upon him better. For my lack of scrutiny in his work, in lieu of his shortcomings, which I should have foreseen. For my lack of attention to the details presented before me, I regret not amending whatever I could possibly have, despite the clock moving against me.

I feel for the other pair of compatriots in our assembly, friends to him and to me, as I am to him, no doubt, of their sense of betrayal and disappointment. Eventhough i am not at liberty to establish their impressions of him, in the aftermath of this incident; I believe it is no less lacking than how i feel, save the disgust which may be unique to me alone.

In the wake of this catastrophe, all that remains is for the three of us to hold our heads up high and to salvage what we can in the approaching trial of ink and manuscripts. To the unfortuned duo, I wish you both all the best.

And it is here that I must end this rant, for already it hinges on the edges of self-indulgency.

To self - a lesson learnt, to select one's associates with better care in the near future.

Have a good night.