Life's Theater

A friend mentioned this during a casual chat on Sunday night.

~

As much as networking is touted as an important aspect of "moving ahead" in life and in the corporate world, what really matters is not the amount of people you know, but rather, the number of people who know you.

Think about it. Even if you have 200 contacts, who are all at or above managerial level, the chances of them offering you a job is pretty low, unless you actively chase them for openings and only if they have a lasting and strong impression of you, coupled with a chance opening that coincides with your request.

On the flip side, if they know you, you will be one of the first few personnel whom they will think of when their company is recruiting and they may, in turn, make the effort to contact you rather than for you to contact them.

~

Without needing too much elaboration, as I am certain that you, my dear reader, can fathom the benefits of such a proposition.

Perhaps it is time for us to stick out our fingers and to count the number of people who know us, on top of the number of people whom we already know.

Remember, impression management matters.

Call me a sentimental old fool, but I simply could not walk away without some form of a final goodbye.

I returned today, one last time, to pay my respects and to give her a final farewell.

~

Farewell old friend, for our on-off relationship since 1988, when I first resided in your stately presence. Thank you for accompanying me over the many quiet and lonely nights with the warmth of your steady security, whispering your soft creaks and untold secrets which up till today, I have yet to decipher.

You alone bore witness to the many milestones in my life, from my many firsts to my growth and maturity as an individual. You alone heard every word whispered, spoken and sung from these lips. Despite your impassionate silence, you experienced my every emotion as a growing child, from denial, anger, rejection, fury, violence, impassioned stubbornness to my transition of calm, humor, resilience, joy. You suffered with my actions and decisions made, from the broken windows and doors to the drama that unfolded within the household.

Denied of voice, you silently acknowledged all my secrets and kept them as such. I thank you for your steady companionship.

Farewell, for come our next meeting, I may never find you standing there again.

~

I stood in the driveway, a tinge of melancholy twisting my heart as I saw her basked in a shroud darkness. On the morrow, the plug of life support will be pulled. No longer will she pulse with the spark of electrical life and channel the substance of life through her veins. Come another two more months and she will be no more.

Forlorn, I stepped in, respectful of the encompassing silence and whispered my last words to her. Flooded with the many memories which she alone had bore witness to, I stared blankly, mental photographs of her once occupied halls, coupled with the bustle of what only a home can be ringing in my mind.

I learnt all about my life, by looking into her empty halls.

Soon, you shall be no more. You shall be forgotten by some, or made a faded memory by a select few, but rest assured that your memory will always live on in my heart.

You will be sorely missed.

~

In silence, I entered the car, backed out of the driveway and left, my sorrow sated by the knowledge that I have said my farewells and that it was time to move on.

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November
In a rare show of spontaneity and temporal abandonment of my academic duties; to celebrate a minor victory of sorts and to seek some respite from the insane rush that defines university life, with no small part due to the recommendation of a temptress of the pro-entertainment vein, I decided on the night of the first day of the week to catch the Wachowski Brother's highly rated V for Vendetta (of which it was purported that The Matrix drew part of its inspiration from).

In all honesty, I was completely blown away and amazed at the execution of the show, of the manner in which violence and brutality were depicted, of the prose, blank verse and iambic pentameters used in its conversations without overbearing the style of the movie and of the many symbolisms subtly slotted into the course of the show.

The people should not be afraid of their government. The government should be afraid of the people

A movie in which I can walk out of the theater remembering a fair number of its quotes ad verbatim is, in my books, plain awesome. To Alan Moore, the creator of the graphic novel that spawned this movie, I salute your vision, creativity and genius.

Ideals are bulletproof

If you are in search of Hollywood fare of the typical garden variety, chances are, you might think that the movie aims to propel itself via its overly complicated language and perspectives, to confound its audience, or that the movie is plain fluff. Perhaps this movie is not for you then. However, almost all of those whom I have spoken to so far agree with me that the movie is nothing short of pure brilliance.

I would tell you unabashedly, in the midst of week 12 of the semster to take two hours off your hectic schedule to catch this movie. It will be worth it.

Hell, I'm definately getting the DVD when its released.

In the darkness, I saw light at the end of the tunnel, except that a tunnel has light at both ends. It never appealed to me, except that I sought to escape from the reality of my helplessness through directing my frustration and anger at the decision makers that created this cupboard hurricane that threw my world into turmoil and disarray, much when the hands of the clock strikes against me in the face of looming deadlines and intense mental pressure.

In a sanctuary by the wall, where I was a stranger in the cultural rift where people of diverse ethnicity converged, I found solace. Colored parchment glued upon a post. The lion remained silent as another narrated his philosophy in writing. A calm and focused mind unperturbed by anger, frustration or distractions.

Acquaintances that I never expected to meet. Perhaps there are six ways till Sunday, never a single straight road in life. Four hour conversations to listen and present objectively with the constant rhythm of clacking alphabets dancing across a keyboard in a clumsy dash-like fashion.

All that begins with an A ends with an A. A full circle that goes round. Chaotically speculative that leaves all confound. A summer's day dream of meeting the rising sun, basking in the sonic intensity of all her glorious imports. Letting go of a discourse which had long slipped out of my grasp and laid beyond my reach within the fence.

~

Focus and perserve and you can do it. You know this is beneath you and you can.

Firstly, I retract what I had said in my previous post and apologize with regards to misunderstanding the person to whom the post was directed at. Like I had mentioned, I was annoyed by your post about me, of which your opinion I cannot shape and will not bother to influence upon change. Your impression, speculations and opinions are yours and yours alone. And I do respect that. I have acknowledged since the beginning that it is not possible for me to make decisions that satisfies everyone. However, I do hope that you will understand that whatever I have done has been for everyone and never have I done it for myself. As a performer, organizer and a member of the committee, I have always opened whatever I could find to all. Whether those interested are ultimately selected, is nearly always a decision out of my hands, due to a potential conflict of interest.

Also, I have never craved power or influenced the decisions of our predecessors, no matter how you may want to view it. I just saw what we, yes, including you, and all the others, have created as something that was falling apart due to poor management initially. In being one of the few who were keeping it afloat and attempting to revive it, those before us decided to choose me as its figurehead, due to my network, associations and prior experience in its operations. To be very frank, given a choice, I would have much preferred to stay in the shadows of another leader, focusing on my craft instead and being a catalyst for other potential ventures.

For the record, if you look into yourself and dig up our past interactions, or speak to your fellow comrades in our craft who carry the same banner as you, I believe I can objectively state that I have always been supportive and helpful whenever I can, to you and your bandmates.

Anyway, the point of the issue and the focus of my angst was directed at you, not at your opinion towards me, which you are wholly entitled to think or blog about, as it is your space for verbal recourse, but on our common friend with whom you have made peace with. As I said, I was standing up for a good friend, whom I would not abide or condone the damaging statements that were seemingly inflicted upon him. It has nothing to do with fear but rather, a friendship strong enough for one to place himself on the record for to defend. I do not enjoy burning bridges or making strong comments, but there are things work fighting for and this friendship is one of them. On a side note, I have never seen you as a powerless individual. You have alot of potential. Harness it.

Ok. I believe enough has been said on all three fronts. Once again, I extend my hand in humble apology for this misunderstanding and retract the comments I made in my prior post.

I really hope that the queue would not be as monstrous as that of the 1st round of auditions. The Mediacorp representative that contacted me said that in the best case scenario, if it ends early, it may only take 30 minutes. I assume that is if I pop by to queue overnight for this round. For the worst case scenario, he said it should end around 1 pm plus.

For this round (as mentioned in an earlier post about the generation of media hype), I am supposed to get 5 friends to accompany me for this round. Any takers?

This post will be a burst of angst, annoyance, disappointment and disgust, which I seldom emote with such intensity. I have always saw myself as an accomodating and fairly patient person, able to rationalize issues and to calm down quickly before I say something which I may come to regret.

In all senses of the word, I am not perfect, but I do conciously try my upmost to make the right decisions and to always find out the entire situation, from the point of view from both parties before I make a stand.

Enough about myself. Those who have worked with me would know me well enough in this aspect.

You know who you are. This post is dedicated to you.

~

Amongst the many types of personalities and characteristics which I have ever encountered, I have never truly despised any, save one kind of person - The person who bites the hands that feeds him.

I have no qualms regarding your comments that were directed towards me. In life, one can never make everyone happy. Hence, rather than to cater to the opinions of one stubborn or bigoted person who refuses to see the truth, the bigger picture or reality, I choose decisions that will maximize the benefits of everyone in general. I apologize and empathize if you are unable to make the cut, but such is reality; hence the reference to it as "the harsh realities of life".

I offered and extended help and advice on multiple occasions. Yet, you turned a deaf ear and refused to listen or accommodate the constructive criticisms and to understand the rational behind the decisions of others, drowning them out against the selfishly opinionated perspective that you choose to allow to dominate your thoughts and to cloud your comments, reactions and behavior.

I stand by the decisions that I have made and yes, I render myself accountable to whatever criticism or comments that may arise. And I am confident that the colleagues around us will rally behind me if this matter was ever pursued, should you finally decide to bring it up to me directly, instead of hiding behind a facade of words, assumptions, half-truths, accusations and lies.

Despite the personal attacks that you have afflicted upon me, which only serve to annoy, the one thing which I cannot abide is the manner in which you are trying to bring down the person which has sacrificed, committed and done so much in your personal benefit. No, I am not referring to myself, but to a close friend of mine, whom I have forged a kinship with over the last three years.

Your false accusations and assumptions as to his intents are truly deplorable. I can abide by irresponsibility from a person in various situations, but in this course of this matter, your comments were truly irresponsible, reflecting your immaturity, selfishness and childishness. How long has it been since the incident and yet, you are still bringing it up as a point of reference, with all your facts wrong? If you had only looked deep enough, you would have experienced the scolding and opposition which HE had faced, out of friendship towards you, to assist you.

HE had bent over backwards to render himself to your cause, breaking the rules - for your benefit - and alone had to incurred the verbal wrath of the authorities. HE attempted to stem the responses and unhappiness, which was directed at you, at his own expense, with no tangible profit to himself, to go out of his way to offer you his support, at his honor.

Together, we had pledge support to your cause, in the face of growing opposition and had even promised to loan personal property to you, just for you to have things your way, because of a personal promise you had made prior to the tussle, committing yourself to something which you had no certainty in ensuring that it would happen.

Yet, this is how you repay someone who gives himself selflessly to your cause. I would have liked to imagine that your misguided response to these issues stems from your inability to comprehend the bigger picture or misinformation from the wrong sources, amongst the many possibilities. However, based on your selfish and pushy nature, it is apparent that you only crave personal benefit, only taking without giving.

You know who you are. I could stop short of saying that you are a small, petty and immature man who has gotten all his facts wrong. In fact, I will stop just short of insulting your parents, saying that they have brought you up without teaching you proper manners.

However, I cannot help but say this - You disgust me.

I initially had little expectations for this performance. Expecting it to be a performance which fell into the "time filler" category, I expected an unresponsive, minute, and nonchalent audience who would monitor their watches, waiting for the big acts after us to begin.

Faye and I were initially scheduled to play for the NUS Arts Festival. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, Faye was unable to make it for this performance. I then got Ja, my singer from 7 Till Dawn, to fill in for Faye. Considering that we have been performing together in various bands for close to three years now, he seemed the best person for the job.

It turned out that the gig was immensely enjoyable and fun, despite the initial lukewarm response from the crowd. We were having fun bantering with the crowd, trying to provoke a response from them.

Boy did things change for the better once a whole class of primary school students from Concorde Secondary School was ushered to the front row of our little stage! Ja and I were having a ball of a time joking around with them, with me cracking comment after comment from their murmured responses.

The energy in the crowd took a turn for the better after I cajoled the students about who liked Chinese songs, which ended with Ja singing "An Jing" by Jay Chou. The crowd's jaws hung limp as Ja sang the entire song.

We ended the set with "Two Steps Behind", which drew fairly loud applause from the small crowd that had gathered to watch us perform. Not bad really.

~

Hopefully this little act between Ja and I will get more gigs in the future. I really enjoyed myself at the NUS Arts Festival and got to learn and practice a thing or two about audience interaction via bantering with the crowd.

This post is dedicated to everyone who missed FACE OFF! - The most rocking and insane rock concert in SMU ever. Period.

FACE OFF! was a success, with most of the crowd staying for the show, from the start to the end. The quality of the bands were simply amazing, with stunning vocalists and a high level of musicianship and showmanship.

Priceless moments, like the mass jam at the end of the concert, where the musicians from all three bands took to the stage, Antz & Guitarissimo Band's "For the Love of God", Ngai Kay's how-the-hell-did-he-do-it guitar-behind-the-head stunner of a solo, D'Funk's "Flight of the Bumblebee" instrumental piece, the 3 drummer's drum solo over one extended drumset, the great vocal harmonies during "Long Train Running" and the guitar duels that rocked "Smells Likes Teen Spirit" will remain etched in my memory for eternity.

For once, the bands were all on par with one another, without one band standing out over their peers. In fact, in my opinion, in having attracted and maintained the crowd from the beginning of the show to the end of the mass jam, we have just showed SMU that our university bands can put up as good a show, without the presence of any external bands. And that, my friend, is a big step forward from the quality of the bands when the band scene in SMU first started.

The staging, sound and lighting were all nothing short of spectacular, with all due credit going to LN and Gerard and Studio Comm for directing the setting up and for running it during the show.
Apart from the bands, special mention would of course have to go out to SMUBE for providing three fantastic emcees in the form of the utterly sexy Grace, Mysterious Mona Faizal and Quadruple J - Jesse James Jeremiah Jalleh!

~

Also, I finally fronted the band, singing Muse's "Time is Running Out". Thankfully my virgin attempt at fronting a band did not result in the audience fleeing the concert venue in terror. Prior to the start of the song, when I was onstage facing the audience, I was a complete wreck of nerves.